After combing through the stack of résumés, it was clear that the most qualified candidate was the girl from Cincinnati, who just happened to be a huge Reds fan. No favoritism here whatsoever.

Sam Ujvary (don’t you dare call her Samantha) grew up in Delhi, went to Oak Hills High School, then to Ohio University, eventually moving to Chicago in the summer of 2011.

Despite the fact that she had never heard of Chris Sabo’s Goggles (for shame!), we hired her anyway. Mostly because one of the first things she did in her interview was offer to show me a picture of the Cincinnati Reds pumpkin she had just carved for Halloween.

I believe her exact words were, “Do you want to see my pumpkin?”

Two months later, our shared cubical wall is adorned with various Reds items, including Sean Casey, Ken Griffey, Jr., and Joey Votto bobbleheads. The Cubs fans in the office love us.

Did I mention that she went to all 30 MLB ballparks in the summer of 2009?

Since Sam sits five-feet from me at work, I decided to talk to her about her experience doing what most of us can only dream to do.

You’re barely old enough to remember the Reds winning the World Series in 1990—which makes me feel really old—but do you remember when you started to root-root-root for the Redlegs?

When I was young, I went through a phase where I was my father’s shadow. He has three daughters, and we were all a little tomboyish, but for some reason, I stuck with the idea of loving the Reds. I can’t be certain when exactly, but I remember watching the movie Major League, and wanting so badly for there to be a movie about my hometown baseball team.

Do you have any favorite Reds memories?

My first Big Red Smokey. I’ll never forget it.

When I was home from college one summer, I was working for a temp agency who knew my love of baseball and hired me to dress up as the Quidam character from Cirque Du Soleil to deliver the first pitch at a game. Unfortunately, the character is a headless clown, so I was only able to escort someone to the mound for the delivery. I played the role flawlessly.

When did you come up with the idea to visit all 30 of the MLB ballparks?

I was taking my victory lap in college (fifth year), had just applied to the Peace Corps, and was trying to put off finding a “real” job until after I heard back. My close friend, Matt, had also just applied, so he was on board with putting our adult lives on hold and spending our last possible summer being irresponsible college grads.

Travelling from city to city is challenging enough, so I imagine the MLB schedule complicated things even more. How difficult was it to plan this trip?

Planning the schedule took about a month. I had to log onto each team’s website to copy their schedule, and coordinate and cross-reference with special events and housing availability—it was a beautiful mess. I came up with two routes. We chose which cities we wanted to stay in longer and the final route was chosen based solely upon where I wanted to be on my birthday.
Once we were in San Diego, our very good friend, Elle, flew out to meet us, and traveled with us for a few weeks. Since her trip start and end date was tentative, we had to arrange it so we had tickets together– since we had purchased some of the tickets before the trip began.

Did any of the ballparks recognize your journey (on the JumboTron, PA announcement, etc.)?

Our first stop was The Jake in Cleveland. We were with about 40 people who had posters with our info on it, so we were on the JumboTron for the first game.
As a graduation present from my mother, she tirelessly communicated with someone from Great American Ballpark, resulting in the opportunity for me and Matt to deliver the game ball at our stop in Cincinnati.
Thirty stadiums and we were never on the Kiss Cam. *Sigh of relief*

"Just ignore him, maybe he'll go away."

What was your favorite ballpark?

What a silly question: Great American Ball Park—duh.

I can’t choose just one, so I’ve given myself a top 5 (keep in mind these are different than top 5 favorite cities):

1. Coors Field
2. Safeco Field
3. Camden Yards
4. Miller Park
5. Great American Ball Park

Okay, what were your favorite cities?

I don’t know if I can choose just five cities. There were cities I liked seeing, cities I liked going out in, and cities that gave me the best hangovers I’ve ever had (if there is such a thing as an oxymoronic “best hangover”). Everyone really tried to make their city the best city we were in.

What was your least favorite ballpark?

Any dome. Playing baseball inside is sacrilegious.

Did you run into any problems that risked messing up your schedule?

There were two issues we ran into immediately, but one worked out in our favor. We were leaving Boston at 11am to make a 7pm game at Yankee Stadium. Once we were on the road, my sister called to inform me the game was in fact at 1pm. We were already late. To make matters worse, we were sitting in traffic in the rain, waiting for our car to turn into the DeLorean to fly us the rest of the way there. We showed up around 7:30 to find the rain delay had just ended. Lucky, right? So was the fact that no one wanted to wait 6 hours for the game, so it was first come, first served. We were able to snag seats 10 rows up from the first base line.

The second problem didn’t end in our favor. My car broke down in Nowheresville, PA when we were on our way to DC to see the Nationals. 4 hours and $300 later, we made it to our Nation’s capital for the last couple of innings.

We didn’t know anyone in Seattle to stay with, which could have potentially put the kibosh on our trip. A cousin of a family friend offered her home to us for 2 days. Her family pulled some strings to get us a tour of Safeco Field, her children baked us cookies, and they provided us with old sleeping bags for our trip to Yellowstone the next day.

Oh, and the Cubs game which was initially on a rain delay was canceled. But only Matt counts that as a stroke of bad luck, as I had already seen a game at Wrigley—also I was ok with going home, due to a late night the previous night which led to a severe case of dehydration.

Any suggestions for someone interested in visiting all of the MLB ballparks?

Do it. It’s the baseball fan’s equivalent to traveling Europe.

Plan it out, expect delays and set-backs, and tell people. Word was out about our trip, and everyone wanted to be part of it. We had friends/family in every city who were more than happy to offer us a place to stay, and all too eager to be our tour guides. Everyone wanted us to write that they lived in the best city.

Give credit where credit is due to anyone who helps you. We sent postcards from future stadiums to thank our gracious hosts.

Make sure you go with someone you won’t want to kill after being in the car with them for 11 hours at a time. After over 13,000 miles, Matt and I are as close as we’ve ever been.

You can read about Sam’s travels at America’s Favorite Roadtrip (just start at February and work your way up), or you can follow her on Twitter @SaLouUjv.

Image courtesy of shawnvoelker.com

Yesterday’s National Baseball Hall of Fame announcement confirmed what Cincinnati Reds fans have known for the last 25 years — Barry Larkin was a damn good baseball player.

I lived in England as a kid and didn’t move back to the States until 1984 (I was 9-years-old). I have no memory of my first baseball game, nor do I remember when I decided that I loved baseball and the Cincinnati Reds. What I do remember is that Barry Larkin quickly became my favorite baseball player.

Whether it was the ridiculous amount of ground Larkin was able to cover at shortstop, his MVP award in 1995, or the double-play ballets he performed with Brett Boone or Pokey Reese (no offense, Juan Samuel and Bill Doran), #11 knew how to make the routine–and anything-but-routine–look exciting.

To put it simply, Barry was a lot of fun to watch.

I’ll turn 37-years-old this year, and I’ve never been to Cooperstown. It’s not for a lack of interest; I just never found a reason to go. I always told myself that if Barry Larkin or Pete Rose ever got elected to the Hall of Fame, that’s when I’d go. Let’s just say that I’m thankful for the former, because I probably would’ve never made it to Cooperstown if I waited for the latter.

So, this July, the entire staff of Chris Sabo’s Goggles (read: me) will be heading to Cooperstown to watch the festivities. There are a few logistics left to figure out, but rest assured I’ll be covering the ceremony on this blog in one way, shape, or form. And I can’t wait.

CSG NOTE: My place of employment has some seriously wonky firewall settings, making it next to impossible for me to access the blog’s dashboard and post new content during the day. I apologize for any formatting issues that may pop up while I try to figure out a work-around. I make no excuses about the content itself, though. I have no one to blame for that but myself.

National Baseball Hall of Fame – Class of 2012

Here’s how the trade breaks down.

San Diego Padres: Yonder Alonso, Yasmani Grandal, Brad Boxberger, Edinson “Opening Day” Volquez

Cincinnati Reds: Mat Latos

It seems unbalanced–and it is–three players (four if you count Volquez… which I don’t) for one guy in return. But you know what? Teams have to overpay to get something they need (especially starting pitching). Do you think the Angels wanted to pay $254 million to get a “31-year-old” first baseman? Of course not–they had to pay $254 million, because that’s what the market demands.

Reds fans say we gave up too much. “Experts” say there must be something wrong with Latos if the Padres were willing to trade him. Reds fans say Volquez was this close to turning the corner and becoming the ace everyone imagined. “Experts” say that Latos has a bad attitude.

BOO-HOO!

While it’s easy to immediately react to a trade by FREAKING THE %#@& OUT, the more sensible approach is to step back and think about it first. You might even want to wait a couple of years to see how the trade worked out for both teams, rather than choose the “winner” and “loser” 9-minutes after the trade was announced.

First and foremost, the Reds needed a starting pitcher. Badly. Someone who could be a #2 starter, with the possibility of growing into a #1 starter. There was a very short list of players that met this need: James Shields, Gio Gonzalez, Jair Jurrjens, and Mat Latos.

If given the choice, I would have preferred Shields or Jurrjens, but if it took Alonso/Grandal/Boxberger/Volquez to get Latos, what do you think the Rays and Braves were asking for in return?

ANSWER: A lot more than Paul Janish

So, the trade…

I’ll start with Edinson Volquez, because I don’t think anybody cares that he’s gone (and if you do care, you really shouldn’t). Last season was the final straw for the guy–it was time for him to go. And who cares if he was the final remaining piece from the Josh Hamilton trade? The Rangers got a good player in return–a player who’s been injured a lot–and the Reds got a pitcher who showed moments of brilliance, but was also a total headcase on the mound a lot of the time.

Yonder Alonso was a man without a position. He was blocked at 1B by Votto… until the Reds trade him in July 2013 when they realize they’ll never be able to re-sign him. Would Alonso get better in the outfield if the Reds kept playing him there? Maybe, but all signs pointed at him not being the best fielder. He wasn’t traded because he can’t hit; he was traded because the Reds didn’t have a (logical) place to play him. Not to mention that his trade-value will never be higher than it is right now.

Yasmani Grandal was behind Ryan Hanigan and Devin Mesoraco. It was highly unlikely the guy was ever going to see time behind the plate for the Reds. The Reds’ depth at catcher has long been one of their best bargaining chips. Not to mention that Grandal hasn’t seen a single at-bat in the Major Leagues, so who knows how good he even was/is.

The same goes for Brad Boxberger. We’ve heard a lot about how good he is, but we also heard about how great Brandon Larson was. Strange things happen when Minor League studs get called up to the Majors. They’re not always as good as everyone thought.

Now, that’s not to say that Alonso, Grandal, and Boxberger won’t develop into great Major League talent, but the thing is–nobody knows! The Padres got prospects, the Reds got a guy who’s proven he can pitch in the big league.

When all is said and done, the Padres will probably end up getting the better end of the deal. Even if only two of the four players they got turn out to be good, they still win (even if Latos turns out to be a solid addition to the Reds’ rotation). Unfortunately, that’s the way it works when you’re a small-market team who can’t afford to pay for big-name free agents. Like it or not.

Is Mat Latos the answer to the Reds’ rotation problems? I have no idea. All I know is that I’m not going to complain about a trade before the guy has thrown a single pitch for the Reds.

I’m complain about the trade after he’s thrown his second pitch.

I politely ignored Charlie Sheen’s fondness for the Reds.

I’ll even forgive Posh Spice’s husband for wearing a Reds hat.

I don’t even know where to begin with this genius.

But this. This might be where I have to draw the line.

To the City of St. Louis and Whiner Nation,

I want to thank each and every one of you—well, everyone except this tool—sincerely from the bottom of my heart for the love and support you have shown me and my family for the past 11 years. In my time with the Cardinals, I have been fortunate enough to play on championship teams, marvel at the skills of Ryan Theriot, was able to compare and contrast the various blood-alcohol-levels of Tony La Russa’s numerous DUIs, and heard Chris Carpenter complain about so many ridiculous things I lost count.

My decision to leave has been incredibly difficult, and… oh, who am I kidding?! $254 million – do you have any idea how crazy that is? TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY-FOUR MILLION DOLLARS! You could get two hundred and fifty-four people in a room, combine their lifetime salaries, and it still probably wouldn’t total $254 million. I wasn’t going to walk away from that even if the deal required me to take a dump on the St. Louis Gateway Arch before I left town.

While I am excited about this new chapter in my life, it‘s very important to me to finally get something off my chest that I haven’t been able to say the last 11 years:

St. Louis is a total crap-hole!

Seriously, it’s the worst. I mean, if you like Olive Garden and Applebee’s, then I guess it’s okay, but for the rest of us who prefer to eat real food and experience actual culture, we’re out of luck.

However, that toasted ravioli St. Louis is famous for, has been, and will always remain, in my heart. Both literally and figuratively. Because of the cholesterol.

I have been honored to be able to wear the Cardinal uniform the last 11 seasons, but it’s time for me to chase some mad cash and head west to Cali-For-Na-Ay. Ever since I was born in 1974, I mean 1980, I’ve dreamed of playing baseball in a state that didn’t have oppressive humidity and a music scene that peaks with Sheryl Crow and Nelly. Now, I can finally live that dream.

I want to thank the entire Cardinal organization, my teammates, coaches (especially Mark McGwire – big ups, bro!), managers and staff for enabling me to use the performance-enhancing drugs that have thus far escaped the joke that is known as MLB drug testing. My family and I are so blessed to live in a time when Major League Baseball has no form of salary cap in place, allowing me to manipulate the system to its furthest reach by forcing teams to overpay for my services. In turn, handicapping the team financially for the next ten years.

But at least I got paid!

We call St. Louis home—that is until we sell our house and buy an even sweeter place out in Cali. We have made lifelong relationships in St. Louis—that is until we forget about all of you obese, Midwestern rednecks and start hanging out with beautiful celebrities in Hollywood.

Words cannot fully express our gratitude to you all, but I’ll still try—so long, suckas!

Albert and Deidre

P.S. TWO HUNDRED AND FIFTY-FOUR MILLION DOLLARS!

While other NL Central teams are doing big things like winning the World Series, moving to the American League, having the NL MVP, or signing David DeJesus (it’s Spanish for “of Jesus”), the only thing the Reds have done is create speculation about what they’re going to do with Francisco Cordero, Brandon Phillips, ,Joey Votto and Yonder Alonso.

It sounds like Cordero is probably gone, along with my emergency stockpile of 9th-inning Alka Seltzer. His numbers suggest he was more successful than my latest EKG report would suggest, but I could never justify the amount of money the Reds spent on him. Getting his salary off the books will be nice, but now the Reds need to find their new closer (either externally or internally). If they go the external route, I hope it doesn’t cost too much. If they go the internal route, I hope his last name isn’t Masset.

As far as Brandon Phillips is concerned, he’ll most likely sign a long-term deal with the Reds… most likely for too much money… a long-term deal that we’ll regret in a few years (most likely).  But last time I checked all MLB teams need to field a second baseman, and since Phillips is a damn good second baseman, he’ll do.

According to Ken Rosenthal of FOX Sports, some in the Reds’ front office want to explore trades for Joey Votto, while Bob Castellini believes that the Reds will be able to re-sign Votto before his contract is up in 2013. I’m not going to say Castellini is stupid, but I will say that Castellini might be stupid.

The Reds have essentially one year (the 2012 season) to convince Votto to stick around. That’s it. The only way Votto will consider staying with the Reds is if they make the playoffs and do more than get no-hit and swept in the first round. If the Reds can prove that they can compete, Votto might considering staying.

He might.

By the time 2013 rolls around, Votto–despite what he’ll tell the press–will have already made his decision about whether or not he’ll re-sign with the Reds or elect free agency at the end of the season. If Votto enters free agency, there is zero (ZERO) chance the Reds can re-sign him.

Professional baseball players expect to be rewarded for their accomplishments. Therein lies the rub. You see, the Reds are incapable of rewarding MVP-caliber free agents for their accomplishments the way big-market teams can. Unless chili dogs have suddenly become a form of currency, in which case the Reds can (and will) win any bidding war.

Professional baseball players also don’t believe in the “hometown” discount anymore (see: Brandon Phillips). It’s all about the size of the contract and the status that comes with it. And as the Hold Steady once said, “guys go for looks, girls go for status.”

If the Reds don’t compete in 2012, they’ll probably look to move Votto in the off-season, because they won’t get much for him if they wait until the 2013 trade-deadline.

That leaves us with Yonder Alonso. Do you trade him now and (hopefully) get a top-of-the-rotation pitcher, or do you hold onto him in case the Reds can’t re-sign Votto?

Dammit… therein lies another rub.

I think we know how that turned out…

Exactly one year year later the Reds wrap up the season four games under .500 and at least 17 games out of first place. Meanwhile, the Cardinals’ playoff hopes come came down to the final game of the season (and possibly a play-in game tomorrow).

What a difference a year makes.

The season is far too long–and I’m way too lazy–to go back and evaluate the entire season, but can I think of 17 games that the Reds could’ve/should’ve won this year? Absolutely. Does it do us any good to dwell on how those 16 games could’ve been played differently? Not one bit.

The only thing that can be said about the 2011 season is that it wasn’t much fun. Expectations were high (probably too high), but I didn’t expect the team to drop off this much from 2010 to 2011. There was an incredibly long stretch of the season where the Reds were incapable of winning two games in a row.

We’ll have plenty of things to talk about this off-season. And if I feel like it, I might even come out of hibernation to write about it.

Was today Joey Votto’s last game as a Cincinnati Red? The possibility is greater than you think it is.

We know that Brandon Phillips will be back in 2012, but what about beyond that?

Are the Reds really going to rely on Scott Rolen to be their everyday third baseman? Again?

Will Francisco Cordero be back at a reduced rate? It sounds like it.

Are we going to have (another) platoon in left field, or will the Reds finally decide on an everyday solution?

Zach Cozart looked good in (very) limited time at shortstop. Is he the answer for the Reds’ shortstop woes? He better be.

And who says nothing happens in the off-season?

The headline for this final post of the 2011 season was brought to you by Weezer.

Regardless, I have nothing to tell you, so here are some links featuring articles written by people who are still paying attention to the Reds:

Redleg Nation

Red Reporter

John Fay

From now through the end of the season the headlines for my posts will be titles of Weezer songs. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you’re probably not part of the Facebook sensation.

Yippee!

But if you’re a true Reds fan you actually do have something to root for during these final games — the Cubs and the Braves.

I know, I know — it’s a lot to ask, but bear with me.

You see, the Cubs play the Cardinals this weekend. In case you haven’t noticed, the Cardinals are making a late-season push to get into the playoffs. In order to do that, the Cardinals have to win (hence, rooting for the Cubs). However, if doesn’t matter if the Cardinals win as long as the Braves win, too (hence, rooting for the Braves).

The Cardinals play the Astros in the final series of the season and the Braves play the Phillies, so this weekend is key.

There are two scenarios I would love to see happen:

The first would be for the Cardinals to be eliminated in the final game of the season — preferably during a game that they’re winning — as the final score of the Braves game is flashed on the scoreboard, indicating a Braves’ victory.

The second would be for the Cardinals to miss the playoffs by three games. That way they could look back at the Reds’ three-game sweep in May and think, “Crap!”

So, I ask you to swallow your pride and root for the Cubs (offer valid this weekend only) and the Braves (for the rest of the season).

I promise, the satisfaction of seeing the Cardinals eliminated will be worth the betrayal you feel in your heart.

GO CUBS GO!

TOMAHAWK CHOP!

From now through the end of the season the headlines for my posts will be titles of Weezer songs. If you have no idea what I’m talking about, you’re probably not part of the Facebook sensation.