Bunch of Hosers

We’ve now established that Edinson Volquez doesn’t like Canada. And really, who does?  Other than Shania Twain and John Candy, what have they given us?  Hockey is stupid, Canadian bacon is gross, and what purpose does the moose serve?

Volquez appears to be the front-runner to start the All-Star Game for the National League, and I really hope his north-of-the-border meltdown doesn’t hurt his chances.  We Reds fans need something to cheer about in July for a change.

Once again the Reds were incapable or getting any hits and scoring runs.

When I was playing in high school and I came to the plate – I produced, every single time.

I don’t mean to brag, but as the tallest kid in my school, I was an unstoppable run-producing machine on the field. And this was before my three-year experimentation with human growth hormones.  In my prime I had an uncanny knack of hitting a deep shot into the right-centerfield seats every time I came to bat.  It was a sight to behold, let me tell you.

Granted, this was kickball. In an gymnasium. With a girl pitcher. And an over-inflated ball. But the point is I got those runners home.  So why are the Reds having so much trouble doing something that I did with relative ease, day-in and day-out during my glory years?

Chew on that this weekend.

I’ll be in Indiana the middle of nowhere for the next few days, where I’m fairly certain Internet has yet to be discovered, so you’ll have to rely on other sources of boredom until Monday.