Enter the Dragon
I don’t know what I was more excited about today – seeing the Reds introduce Jay Bruce as their new centerfielder, or (finally) saying goodbye to Corey Patterson.
Unfortunately, I only get to celebrate one of those things.
The fact that Corey Patterson is still a Red and Scott Hatteberg isn’t leads me to believe one of the following must be true:
A.) Patterson is in possession of some damaging secrets about Dusty Baker.
B.) Dusty Baker owes Patterson a lot of money, and is slowly repaying him by continuing to give him a job as a baseball player.
C.) Corey Patterson is an outstanding athlete that the Reds would be foolish to release.
D.) None of the above. Dusty Baker is just a stubborn bastard who refuses to let go of his “horses.”
The answer, of course, is “D”.
This move makes absolutely no sense to me. I realize that Joey Votto was eating up most of Hatteberg’s at-bats, but that’s not the issue here. All along the Reds’ brass has been saying that Bruce is not on the team because he wouldn’t get enough playing time. Who was blocking Bruce’s playing time? Corey Patterson. So, why, when a roster move needs to be made to make room for Bruce do they release Scott Hatteberg?
Did the Reds really feel it was necessary to have a guy on the bench that was capable of going 0-8 in a game?
I’ve never liked Dusty Baker, but I’ve been patient with tolerant of him this year. However, this move stinks of Dusty Baker. No team in their right mind would keep Corey Patterson on their roster. I don’t care what his new “role” with the team will be, the fact of the matter is that Corey Patterson sucks and has no business wearing a Reds uniform.
Maybe Walt Jocketty has a plan to send Patterson to the Rangers in exchange for Josh Hamilton. I hope so, because that’s the only way I can justify keeping this loser on the roster.
But enough about that bum, let’s talk about the young man that will be platooning centerfield for what we hope will be many, many seasons – Jay Bruce.
Dear Jay Bruce,
I don’t expect you to turn around the Reds’ season this year – that’s not why you’re being brought up now – but I do expect you to show some of the talents that you’ve been demonstrating down in Triple-A (show-off). For the last couple of seasons you have exploited victimized pitchers in ways not seen since Eric Milton last took the mound for the Reds.
But that was Triple-A.
Matt Belisle pitched really well in Triple-A, but when he got called up to The Show, well… you know.
You were once a man amongst boys, but now you’re a boy amongst men (and Josh Fogg). It is your responsibility – no – your duty as a Cincinnati Red to show everyone why you are here:
To chew bubble gum and to kick ass. And you’re all out of bubble gum.
Don’t try to do too much too soon. We promise not to boo you unless your struggles last longer than 1.5 seasons. The normal grace period we Reds fans give players is three months (or five days if your name is Corey Patterson), but for you we’ll make an exception.
Reds fans are easy to please. Give us a novelty like the Cleveland Indians coming to town, and we’ll sell out the park. Help the team get over .500 in the month of September, and we’ll anoint you King of Cincinnati. It really is that simple.
Most importantly, don’t be a dick. Just go out there every day, show off your superhuman ball-mashing skills, be nice to John Fay and Paul Daugherty, and you will have the city of Cincinnati in the palm of your hand.
Good luck, Jay.
Love,
Chris Sabo’s GogglesP.S. Only go to Gold Star Chili if you have no idea where the closest Skyline is.
