Chris Sabo’s Goggles

Send Bronson Arroyo to the minors. Tonight. Keep him there until he can prove that he can pitch. I don’t care how much the dude makes, he’s an absolute nightmare right now.  I’d tell him to give up baseball to pursue his music career, but he’s a horrible singer and he plays lame cover songs.  If there’s one thing he does worse than pitching in the Major Leagues, it’s that silly little band of his.

And while we’re at it, Bronson, cut that ridiculous hair of yours.   You look like my fifth grade English teacher.  She was a woman.

I’ve never been a big fan of yours, Arroyo.  Ever since you were traded here all you did was whine about how much you miss Boston and that Cincinnati isn’t the same.  BOO-HOO!  We’ve put up with your sucky pitching way longer than Red Sox Nation would have, so thank your lucky stars you’re still not there.  They would’ve crucified you by now.

Josh Fogg. Would somebody cut this ass?  Now!  Send him home.  Send him to another team. I don’t care, just don’t have him on the Reds roster anymore.  If you need someone to break the news to him, I’m available.  Give me his cellphone number, because I’d be happy to give him a call and tell him just how much he sucks.

I hate this team right now.  To quote my Dad (usually said in response to the Bengals), they’re a bunch of bums!  Screw September call-ups, let the youth movement begin today.  Implode this team.  Could it really get any worse than it already has?

P.S. Josh Fogg… you SUCK!